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PDFWhen one of my best friends from high school recently announced her wedding several states away, it never occurred to me not to go. She trekked across the country to attend our wedding in Telluride 14 years ago, and so not only do I want to reciprocate, but I wouldn’t miss being at her wedding for the world. I love this friend, and I hate that I don’t get to see her more often, and so of course I’m going!
Not only am I ridiculously excited to see my old buddy get married, but it would also seem that I have a hot date! Rather, a hot weekend with my husband. This is a big deal, a landmark, really. It’s the first time in 10 years (since we had kids) that we have gone away for an entire 3 day weekend with no kids. Not only that, but we will be separated from our kids by an airplane ride. This is huge for me because I’m a bit of an anxious parent. I don’t mind going way for a night or two and being a drive away – I’ve done that plenty of times. But to have both parents gone at the same time for three days and a plane ride away- never before! I am really looking forward to having my husband all to myself for the weekend, and I’m also looking forward to having me to myself for the weekend.
In anticipation of this weekend, I bought an awesome dress. I splurged a little – I walked into a White House Black Market this summer and found the perfect dress in a nanosecond. I put it on and instantly knew that it was ‘the dress’. The sales people there are very good and very sneaky. While I was standing there admiring myself, a pair of high heel shoes was slipped under the curtain. I slipped them on and at that moment in time, they had the same subtle sateen shine as the dress and oh my – these shoes felt special and I had to have them. I have never owned such a nice pair of fancy high heel shoes and would prefer to spend $100 on a pair of nice running shoes or fuzzy boots. However, while I was in the dressing room I rationalized the purchase by convincing myself that they were in fact quite comfortable compared to other high heel shoes I’ve tried to wear in the past.
Now that I have the shoes at home, I can’t help but wonder if I had a moment of COMPLETE INSANITY! Because these are NOT comfortable shoes, and how in the hell am I supposed to walk in these? My uber stylish friend radmama came over today. She is incredibly talented at many things, and she has been experimenting with making clutches. She gave me this one to go with my outfit, a pop of color for my black tie outfit:
She’s amazing! While she was here, I showed her the shoes (which she loved). She watched me walk in them and then burst out laughing as she should have -because clearly I don’t belong in high heel shoes and I have no idea what to do with them. I walk sort of like Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars -big bent knees, trying not to wipe out – it’s not a pretty site. It ruins the hot dress completely.
So, I know we live in a land where comfy Keens and sturdy Merrills are preferred by 9/10 women…but surely someone out there can help a girl out and explain how in the hell you’re supposed to walk in stiletto heals? Anyone? Anyone? Do you hit pointy heel first, then toe? Or do you put the heel and ball of foot down at the same time? How do you avoid bending your knee? How do you not twist your ankle?
Walking difficulty aside, I sure do love these shoes. They make my dwarfish 5’3 feel like 5’8. Maybe I will just stand there, holding my awesome clutch with my sweet heels on and just try not to move. Or I’ll do what I do at every event I’ve ever worn heels to – I will leave them in a pile in the corner and dance the night away.
About Author
SJPmama is the schemer, founder, and the editor at San Juan Parent. She created San Juan Parent because she wanted to find fun activities for families in the San Juan Mountain Region that would tire her kids out and make them go to bed at a decent hour. She has been banging away on computers for longer than she can remember and freelances at various tech jobs. She considers herself extremely lucky to have such awesome friends and family who are willing to let SJP feature their stories on the interwebs.
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We are not genetically or logistically programmed to wear heels like that! Kick em off and dance the night away!
I know, I know…but I just really want to know how the women who wear these shoes make it look so easy. It’s baffling.